Whenever I write something against paternalism, I am inevitably confronted with a passage from the fifth chapter of Paul's epistle to the saints at Ephesus. It is a favorite of both conservative Evangelicals and Armstrongists alike. They quote: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." (Ephesians 5:22-24, ESV)
"Try that one on for size, Lonnie!" "It plainly says wives SUBMIT to your husbands - case closed!" Of course, the clear implication being that no further investigation or commentary is needed. The thinking goes something like this: "It's in the Bible. You either accept it or reject it." However, as is common with these prooftexts, there is no context offered, and no discussion about other related texts that might contribute to our understanding of the one offered as proof of a particular belief. After all, in isolation, this text does seem to support the traditional paternalistic, male authoritarian model which has been pushed for hundreds and hundreds of years.
However, if we are truly interested in understanding what the Apostle Paul was saying to the Ephesians, we might want to get some of the surrounding context. In this letter to these First Century Gentile Christians, Paul talks about the great gift which had been made available to them through Jesus the Messiah (Ephesians 1-3). Then, in chapter four, he appealed to them to conduct themselves in a manner worthy of such a gift (Ephesians 4:1-7). Next, Paul reminded them that they should all be striving to exhibit the love, harmony, and unity of purpose which Christ expected of them (Ephesians 4:8-16). Finally, he explained that their current behavior must reflect the change which Christ had wrought in them (Ephesians 4:17-30). Paul concluded: "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32, ESV) Once again, this is addressed to Christians, and it is concerned with how they should be treating each other.
Keeping in mind that there weren't any of our chapters and verses dividing the original text, we read at the beginning of the next chapter: "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 5:1-2, ESV) Once again, Paul reminded them about what Christ had done for them and demanded that their lives reflect that fact (Ephesians 5:3-14). Then, just before the relevant passage, we read: "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." (Ephesians 5:15-21, ESV) Hence, we see that the context makes clear that Paul is reminding these Christians about how they should be treating each other in the light of what Christ had done for them!
Thus, we see that Paul is addressing the behavior of wives AND husbands in the ekklesia/Church in the verses which follow. This is the proper context for what follows: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. 'Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:22-33, ESV, emphasis mine)
Notice that this submission and love that Paul is talking about is likened to Christ and the ekklesia/Church. Once again, the context is about what is happening within the body of believers - between believing husbands and wives. Moreover, this is all made even clearer when we remember Christ's instructions to his disciples recorded in the Gospel of John. After washing his disciples' feet (an act of service and humility), we read: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35, ESV, emphasis mine) Likewise, in response to a request by two of his disciples to have positions of authority directly under him, Christ said: "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:25-28, ESV, emphasis mine) In other words, love and leadership within the ekklesia/Church would look very different from that which was practiced on the outside of that body!
Moreover, so that we don't leave any wiggle room for the more traditional understanding of this passage, we must note that this same stream of thought continues into the next chapter of Paul's epistle to the Ephesians (Ephesians 6:1-20). In short, there is NO mistaking who Paul was addressing, and that his teachings were consistent with Christ's expectations of his disciples. Hence, we have seen that using this passage from Ephesians as a prooftext to defend traditional notions about paternalistic male dominance just doesn't hold any water when we take a closer look!
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