In the last post in this series, we saw that the Hebrew Bible's take on the institution of marriage is NOT consistent with some of the statements which various churches have published on the subject. Moreover, our modern experience of that institution is often very much at odds with the one described in what we call the Old Testament. In this post, we will see that this disparity between what Scripture has to say about marriage and our understanding and practice of that institution also applies to the New Testament. In the United States, marriages are licensed by the state, one in two new marriages now ends in divorce (for second and third marriages that rate is even higher), multiple marriages is the norm, a large number of families are single-parent households, and there are a large number of couples who are living together without the formality of marriage.
As was related in Part 2, the Jewish custom relative to marriage in the First Century required a betrothal and a period of betrothment (usually about a year). Although the woman was considered "married" to her husband, the marriage was not considered to have been consummated until the husband and wife had engaged in sexual intercourse. According to the Gospel of Matthew, "Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, 'Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit." (1:18-20, ESV) So, we see that Joseph's and Mary's marital status at the time of her pregnancy and Christ's birth were consistent with Jewish practices of that day. Notice too, that Joseph would have had to formally divorce her if he had decided not to go forward with the marriage.
Interestingly, in the first great sermon recorded in this same Gospel (Matthew), among the many things which Jesus focused on in this message, the subject of marriage and divorce was prominently featured. After delivering what most Christians now refer to as "The Beatitudes," he began to talk about different provisions of the Torah (Matthew 5:1-26). In this context, we read: "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Verses 27-28, ESV) For Jesus, it wasn't enough to refrain from having intercourse with someone who wasn't your wife. He said that anyone who even looked at a woman "with lustful intent" had "already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Unfortunately, this remark has often been taken out of context by Christian pastors and has been incorrectly applied to ALL sexual attraction outside of the institution of marriage. Remember, Jesus was clearly talking about a married man - a husband. He was NOT talking about single men or single women! Of course, this misinterpretation of Christ's remarks has had a profound impact on Christian attitudes toward human sexuality. Just like in the Garden of Eden, men (influenced by the Serpent) have misappropriated Christ's remarks to make sexual attraction shameful and sinful! In a subsequent post, we'll take a closer look at the Old Testament book, "Song of Solomon" in this connection and give the Biblical perspective on the wholesomeness of human sexual attraction.
For now, however, we will continue with Christ's message in the Gospel of Matthew. Jesus said: "It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.'" (Verses 31-32, ESV) Remember, Torah had provided for divorce if the husband was dissatisfied with his wife. So, we see that Jesus made it very clear that he considered Torah's provisions for addressing infidelity in marriage and the dissolution of problematic marriages to be inadequate. In other words, once again, Jesus was advocating a much stricter standard than that which had been espoused in Torah!
Later, in the same Gospel account, Jesus was confronted by the religious leaders of that time about the Torah's teaching on divorce. In the nineteenth chapter of Matthew, we read: "And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, 'Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?' He answered, 'Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.' They said to him, 'Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?' He said to them, 'Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.'" (Verses 3-9, ESV)
Thus, in his response to the Pharisees' question, we see that Jesus elaborated on the problems he discerned with Torah's instructions about divorce. First, he referenced that passage from Genesis which we cited in the first post in this series. As a consequence of that union, he said that the two had become "one flesh." Therefore, Jesus warned any person away from attempting to separate them into two again! "Why did Moses do it then?" they asked. Christ answered that Moses had sought to indulge their hard heartedness, and then he went on to say that God had never intended for marriages to end like that! He finished his thought by declaring that anyone who divorces their wife for any reason other than adultery is causing sin!
Before leaving the Gospel of Matthew, we should also note that Christ told two parables related to marriage and addressed a question related to how levirate marriages would be handled in the resurrection. In the "Parable of the Wedding Feast" (Matthew 22:1-14), Jesus said that the Kingdom of Heaven could be likened to what was then a widespread custom among the Jews - the wedding feast or banquet. He said that a king had planned a wedding feast for his son and invited a large number of guests to the event. Unfortunately, his invitations were ignored. As a consequence, the king sent his servants out into the roadways and invited everyone whom they came across to the feast. Moreover, one of the guests wasn't dressed for the occasion and had to be removed from the event. Christ concluded his story with the statement that "many are called, but few are chosen."
In the "Parable of the Ten Virgins" (Matthew 25:1-13), Christ compared the Kingdom of Heaven to ten virgins who took ten lamps/lanterns out to meet a "bridegroom." Christ said that five of them were "wise" and carried some oil to fuel their lamps, but the other five were "foolish" and forgot to bring any oil. Christ went on to say that the bridegroom was delayed and didn't arrive until late into the night. As a consequence, only the five "wise" virgins were prepared to go out and meet him. They were admitted to the marriage feast, but the door was closed to the other five. Jesus concluded with this warning: "Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour" <when he would return>.
In both of these parables, Christ compared the Kingdom to the institution of marriage. Moreover, of particular interest to our discussion of traditions/rituals surrounding that institution, the focus of both stories is wedding/marriage feast/banquet (the custom of that day). These things are made even more significant when we consider them in the context of a passage from the book of Revelation where Christ is portrayed as marrying his Church upon his return. In the nineteenth chapter of that book, we read: "Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, 'Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure'—for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, 'Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.' And he said to me, 'These are the true words of God.'" (Verses 6-9, ESV) Notice the rich symbolism contained in these verses.
Returning to the twenty-second chapter of Matthew, we read: "The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, saying, 'Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother.’ Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh. After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.' But Jesus answered them, 'You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. And as for the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was said to you by God: ‘I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not God of the dead, but of the living.' And when the crowd heard it, they were astonished at his teaching." (Verses 23-33, ESV) Clearly, Christ taught that levirate marriage would not be a factor in the resurrection, because the institution of marriage would NOT be a part of that reality!
In the Gospel of Luke, we find another occasion where Christ used a wedding feast to teach a lesson (14:7-11). In this one, we read that Christ had been invited to dine with a leading Pharisee, and that he noticed that the other guests were jockeying for the best seats at the table. He said: "When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him, and he who invited you both will come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this person,’ and then you will begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." This was followed by the "Parable of the Great Banquet" (14:12-14) - which was very much like the story in Matthew about the guests who refused to attend the king's wedding feast for his son.
Finally, in the Gospel of John, we are informed that Christ's first public miracle was changing water into wine for a marriage festival at Cana in Galilee (2:1-11). In addition to the significance of this miracle being the opening salvo of Christ's ministry, the story also demonstrates that wine was an important component in the celebration of those First Century wedding feasts/banquets. Hence, although Christ didn't personally marry anyone during his visit to this earth, we can see that he did have a fair amount to say about the institution.
In the next post in this series, we will look at what Paul and the other leaders of the early Church had to say about the institution of marriage and the role of children in the families created when two people come together. Also, as indicated earlier in this post, we will take a look at the "Song of Solomon" and a few other passages relating to human sexuality. Stay tuned.
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