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Saturday, April 28, 2018

What it takes to be a TRUE believer!

If you want to be a member of the One True Boy's Club, the Grand Poobah requires that you perform certain rituals and follow the standards prescribed in the OTBC Manual (California Version). A brief summary follows:

You must apologize to your mother for stepping on the cracks in sidewalks and promise NEVER to do so again.
While standing on one foot, you must allow a licensed plumber (electricians, carpenters and bricklayers are excluded from performing this ritual) to spread chocolate pudding (Jello brand only) all over your body (including the top of your head).

You must follow the Seven Rules of Living Right for the rest of your life:
1) Never disrespect the President of the United States.
2) Never kill fireflies.
3) Never eat black jelly beans.
4) Always remember to silence your cell phone in movie theaters.
5) Never bump fists with women.
6) Never listen to music by the Swedish Pop group Abba.
7) Never watch television in your underwear.

True believers are also strongly encouraged to not wear pink shorts on Sundays, only eat turkey based hot dogs and give the IRS an extra $1000 every year.

1 comment:

  1. You forgot to say that you must worship the Bible. Not just read it and know and it and learn from it; you must worship it.

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